Jason Ramblin
PASADENA, CA — As assignments were passed around Tuesday for the 2020 Pasadena Fireman’s Calendar, Jim Aeneid, a pudgy, recently divorced, and all-in-all down on his luck fireman was once again asked to act as cameraman for the department’s Photoshoot.
“The way it works is pretty simple,” said eye-candy Captain Rich “Jawline” Jenkins of PFD. “We take suggestions around the station in the month leading up to the shoot for which of our Firemen take which months. Typically our real ladykillers get July or August, and the other end of the spectrum throws on a burly parka for December.” Capt. Jenkins continued to describe that even the winter months’ photos are heavily-laden with suggestive poses.
Aeneid, however, was not recommended for any month. Again.
“He’s just not exactly February material, you know?” added chiseled coworker Daniel Freid. “So, on the suggestion card where it said ‘month’, I just put “camera”.
Other firemen interviewed added that this sort of thing happens at every station, and it is to be expected. Freid muscularly remarked “Hey, we can’t all be lookers.”
Aeneid informed reporters that this was his sixth year being asked to take photos of his much more attractive coworkers. “I mean, all I have to do is press the button. So I guess it’s not so bad,” he added rotundly.
Ugly Jim also told reporters that he had made a small appearance in the 2019 Calendar’s group photo on the final page: his thumb can be seen covering the bottom-right corner of the picture.
Brilliantly handsome Captain Jenkins added that, while he isn’t in the Calendar, Jim is a valuable asset to the Pasadena Fire Department, and he still holds the station record for fastest time down the fire-pole
The Daily Taradiddle 